FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How
many chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
MOSES: And God came down from the heavens, and he said unto
the Chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken
crossed the road and there was much rejoicing.
RICHARD NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat,
the chicken did not cross the road.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why
doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this
chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black
man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample
him and keep him down.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000,
which will not only cross roads, but it will lay eggs, file
your important documents AND balance your checkbook.
Unfortunately, when it divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.4999999999.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not "Why did the chicken cross
the road?" But is rather "Who was crossing the road at the
same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the
chicken crossing?"
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been
naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically
dispositioned to cross roads.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens
will be free to cross roads without having their motives
called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road,
and that was good enough for us.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road.
Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever
motive there was.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the
road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of
reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
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