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I just got this from a friend of mine who works at Lockheed-Martin, and I decided to pass it around. NOTE TO R.M-A REGULARS: Yes, this is way off topic, but still FUNNY. Enjoy. [Editor's note: R.M-A = is the USENET newsgroup rec.martial-arts.] |
PRESS RELEASEValles Marineris (MPI) - A spokesthing for the Mars Air Forces denounced as false rumors that an alien space craft crashed in the desert, outside of Ares Vallis on Friday. Appearing at a press conference today, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that "the object was, in fact, a harmless high-altitude weather balloon, not an alien spacecraft".The story broke late Friday night when a major stationed at nearby Ares Vallis Air Force Base contacted the Valles Marineris Daily Record with a story about a strange, balloon-shaped object which allegedly came down in the nearby desert, "bouncing" several times before coming to a stop, "deflating in a sudden explosion of alien gases". Minutes later, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser contacted the Daily Record telepathically to contradict the earlier report.
General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that hysterical stories of a detachable vehicle roaming across the Martian desert were blatant fiction, provoked by incidences involving swamp gas. But the general public has been slow to accept the Air Force's explanation of recent events, preferring to speculate on the "other-worldly" nature of the crash debris. Conspiracy theorists have condemned Rgrmrmy's statements as evidence of "an obvious government cover-up", pointing out that Mars has no swamps. -----------------------------------------------------------------
Eric Seale | Optimist: The glass is half full
Eric.Seale@pobox.com | Pessimist: The glass is half empty
| Engineer: The glass is twice as big as it
needs to be
=================================================================
"Everything is under control" --- Wallace
Michael J. Gallagher aka mikejoe@prodigy.net
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SOURCE INFO
Path: metro!news.cs.su.oz.au!harbinger.cc.monash.edu.au!munnari.OZ.AU!news.Hawaii.Edu!news.caldera.com!enews.sgi.com!nntprelay.mathworks.com!news.mathworks.com!cam-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.bbnplanet.com!prodigy.com!prodigy.com!not-for-mail From: mikejoe@prodigy.net (Michael J. Gallagher) Newsgroups: sci.space.history,sci.space.policy,rec.martial-arts Subject: Press release Date: Sat, 12 Jul 1997 03:47:41 GMT Organization: Prodigy Services Corp Message-ID: <33c6fda6.5059361@news.prodigy.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: port9.syra.prodigy.net X-Newsreader: Forte Free Agent 1.1/16.230 Xref: metro sci.space.history:7821 sci.space.policy:73837 rec.martial-arts:206939